I am the Walnut

11pm to 11am in a small room at 75 degrees: a recipe for a very sleepy nurse. I don't feel I'm going to fall asleep, but oh do I desperately want to right now. 😴

After neglecting and then completely forgetting about this blog, here I am again. I wonder how long Blogger will linger (do people use it (and does anyone besides the bloggers read them))? All very important questions 😉. So what's up? I did get my nursing license. And then I sort of say on it for almost 6 months without making any meaningful attempt to find new work. I was comfortable, and I liked where I was. Nothing really changed, except that I realized that it had been six months and I wasn't doing anything new, and that presumably had been the point of the whole thing! So I put my resume on Indeed and almost immediately got a job as a treatment nurse in Oakland. It was a jarring experience, filed with new experiences and colorful characters. After about nine months I realized my boss wanted to fire, but not for any realistic reason. So I jumped ship to Napa. That unfortunately didn't take, and after 4 months here I am in home health again. This time I...

Well, I guess what I thought was my ATT number was just my eligibility number. Now I'm registered now, waiting for my ATT. This whole process feels overly complicated, but what are you going to do? I made a post the other day on Facebook announcing I was done with it. I still have Face Messenge, and I didn't actually delete my account (just the app), so really perhaps I didn't really 'leave'?

My authorization to try number arrived a month ago. I still need to register it and take the stupid license exam. I'm really nervous, and keep putting things off. I hate being so consistent in this regard. I'm attempting to begin in a new routine today, and also pushing on contacting the board to figure or exactly what I need to do this week.

Today saw no further progress. It saw an unnecessary (though mostly delicious) Chinese buffet, a satisfying sequence of "Arrow", " iZombie" and "Supernatural." I'll just have to spend extra time tomorrow. My old classmate Sara facebooked me, telling me I should be receiving my ATT# any day now. I'm not ready. I have to be ready very soon. I feel like I'm in the calm center of hurricane, and that at any moment my peaceful, comfortable routine could turn. I don't want to be caught unprepared, I have to much at stake and too many lives dependent on my success.

Well, yesterday and today I did keep my commitment to myself to study. I went to the Golden Arches both days and did in fact work on my Nclex stuff. Yesterday I felt better because I actually FINISHED a section. Today I got an hour and a half in and realized I would need at least 2 more hours to finish, and I had to get home before that. So it's half done, I just need to finish it tonight.